Hidden Stash
by Prometheus71
Summary: Oneshot: Kotor 1. Jolee Bindo thought his 'secret stash' was safely hidden on the Ebon Hawk, but he hadn't reckoned on a certain Mandalorians persistance. Just a bit of silly nonsense!


_A/N: Written for a previous KFM duelling circle challenge, theme being: 'Altered States'_

_Just pure silly nonesense._

**Hidden Stash**

With effortless grace, the petite woman slipped through the ships twisting corridor, pausing as she passed the cargo hold.

_There it is, that smell again._ She wrinkled her nose delicately as the ripe smell assaulted her sinuses. _What can it be?_ Raising a pale hand to her nose, she stepped gingerly into the narrow room.

"Mission!" she exclaimed as the young Twi'lek flew past her.

Mission turned her head as she ran towards the doorway. "Can't stop, Bastila!"

Bastila walked out of the cargo hold, only to be knocked over as a large hirsute form collided with her.

("Sorry, Bastila,") The Wookiee scooped her up, and placed her back to the floor with large fur covered paws.

Bastila smoothed her brown robes down with an irritated hand. "Zaalbar," she said, her blue eyes staring at him icily. "Do you have to encourage her?"

("No time to talk,") Zaalbar woofed as turned from her, ("Mission, give it back…!") He lumbered down the corridor after the young blue Twi'lek

She sighed contemptuously, and stepped into the main hold. _Does nobody ever listen to me?_

The large grey haired Mandalorian was sitting in one of the chairs, with Revan perched on the low table near to him. He guffawed loudly as Bastila entered the room.

Bastila frowned, "What is it that you find so amusing, Mandalorian?" _Something quite lewd, I can only imagine._

Revan turned her head, her blonde hair swaying around her shoulders as she glanced at the younger woman. "I, uh…"

"Bah, leave the kids alone, Bastila," Jolee replied, a furtive look on his dark features.

"Ah, Master Bindo. I did not see you there. I hope that you are keeping order? And Revan remember please, that you are a Jedi, do act with a modicum of respect for the Order…"

"Sheesh, Bastila, I don't have to act virtuous all the time," she replied rolling her eyes. She heard a snicker from the Mandalorian, and she kicked him with her booted foot.

Bastila glanced at them frostily. "If you have need of me, I will meditating. I suggest Revan, that you do the same."

Jolee waited until he was sure that she was out of ear's reach, and then turned to the others, his white brows furrowed together. "Now remember that it's our secret. I don't want anyone else to know about my stash. And no showing Bastila through that Force bond you have, missy." He glowered at Revan.

"So what is this stash, old man?" Revan asked impishly.

"Old man? Have you no respect for your elders? Bah, its all about today, you young things should have been taught better." He scratched at his goatee absently. "Now where was I?"

"Your secret stash," Canderous replied leaning forward in his seat. "You were about to tell us what it was, and more importantly, where it was, before the princess spoiled your ramblings."

"Ah, yes," Jolee smiled rubbing his hands together. "Moonshine."

"Free booze? Alright!" Canderous sighed gleefully.

"Moonshine? Isn't that illegal, Jolee?" Revan replied.

"Made it when I was on Kashyyyk, I had no problems there."

"Yeah, but you were there living alone as some crazy old coot."

"Manners, young lady," Jolee absently reminded Revan. "You can't beat a drop of moonshine. Knock the polish off your boots, it would. Rancorous stuff."

"What's it made of?"

Jolee leant back in his seat. "Now, now, that would be telling. Recipe is my own, and one that I won't share, so don't bother asking. One thing I will tell you, though. Never add tach gland to it." He shivered.

"Why not? Tarisian ale is made from the g…" Canderous growled interestedly.

"Hooo, hmmm why not? Moonshine is potent enough, my lad. Adding tach to it would increase its potency, something that I wouldn't recommend. Crazy things happen, heightened sense of serenity, feelings of mellowness followed by the usual drunken debauchery…bah, or was that just me?" he pondered aloud.

"That doesn't sound so bad," Revan smiled.

Canderous shrugged nonchalantly. "I've drunk worse than that. Cant be any stronger than Mandalorian ale, now there's a drink to melt your faculties!"

"Ahh, but I haven't finished," Jolee humphed loudly, "it's the visions you get after all that glowy drunkenness. Can make people do strange things…" he replied mysteriously.

xxx

("Mission, give it back to me. Revan will be angry with you,") Zaalbaar growled deeply.

The Twi'lek held her breath as she crouched behind the plasteel containers in the cargo hold. _Oh Z, I can smell you from here,_ she thought, stifling the impulse to giggle as she heard the Wookiee move around the room.

("I know you are here. You might as well show yourself. Mission, I'm hungry. You promised we'd eat soon!") he pleaded in a soft whimper. ("Besides, it smells bad in here,") his stomach gurgled loudly, as if to emphasize his apparent hunger.

Mission stood up, her legs half hidden by the container she had hid behind. She raised a blue hand and pinched her nose, "Eww, for once I hope that smell is you, Z!"

Zaalbar stalked to where she stood. ("It does smell bad here, Mission. Now give me it, I can return it to Revan. She won't notice that it has gone if I am quick.")

"No you don't, Z. Uh-huh, no way." She held the small objects in her hand. "This is disgusting. I don't know why Revan kept them. I mean, yeah, I'm thankful for her helping Griff ya know, but tach glands? The poor little beasts."

The Wookiee lunged at her, trying to snatch the glands from her, but Mission pulled her hand back, just in time.

"Have you looked in here Z? This is where the stink is."

("No, it smells horrible,") he complained.

Mission opened the container, the tach glands dangling in her other hand. "Ewwwww, that is so gross!" She gagged as the rich aromas enveloped her. She let the glands drop from her hand, as she tried to shield her watering eyes from the vapours.

("Mission, no!") Zaalbar roared.

She glanced down with a hand clasped over her nose and mouth. The tach glands hit the liquid inside the plasteel container, disappearing as Mission dropped a hasty hand in, trying to recover them.

("You've done it now, Mission.")

xxx

Revan stepped out of the women's dormitory, to be accosted by Carth. He leant across the door frame, one hand on his hip, and a smile on his lips.

"Say, beautiful, spare me a minute?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

Revan smiled. "What is it, Carth?"

"I…I want to talk with you, can we uh," he indicated the room she was just leaving, "speak in private?"

"Sure, I got a few minutes I can spare you," she said as she stood aside, allowing him entrance to the room beyond.

"I, uh just wanted to thank you, for you know, helping with Dustil."

Revan walked across the room, and shoving spare clothing off her bunk to the floor, she sat down.

"Neatness isn't one of your strongest points, is it, eh?" he teased as he sat next to her.

She turned to him, running her hand down his chest, smiling as she saw the intense look he awarded her. "I'm glad that I could help with Dustil. It can't have been easy for you, Carth."

He shook his head. "No, I thought I had lost him. But to have found him again, you can't imagine what that meant to me. Then I…I nearly lost him again, to the Sith." He looked up at her, his dark eyes shining. "That was tough. I'm glad that you were with me, Revan."

Revan stared at him sadly, "I just hope it works out for you, Carth. I mean that. You deserve better than what fate has dished out to you."

"You haven't had it so easy yourself. I mean to wake up and suddenly find that you were Revan? Whoa, that's tough." He reached inside his jacket and caught her hand, holding it firmly between his fingers. "Hey, I'm sorry; I uh didn't mean to upset you. I can't imagine what you must going through, and here I am talking about myself!"

"It's alright, Carth. It's been a shock…" she replied wearily, trying to ignore the tears that threatened her eyes.

"Hey, come on," Carth replied gently. "You are not Revan anymore, well not _that _Revan. I…ah, I've come to care for you, you know that?" He raised her hand, and pressed his lips against it.

Revan felt her lip tremble. "Carth?"

"Yeah, gorgeous?"

"Hold me?" she said in a weak voice as the unwanted tears spilled softly down her cheeks.

Carth stared at her, and gulped. "Sure," he said, his voice wavering slightly. He pulled her to him, and wrapped his arms around her. He felt her tears moisten his shirt, "Hey, Revan, its okay. You've got me, as long as you want…"

She raised her head to him, her cheeks shining with tears. "You mean that?"

Carth gazed at her with acute longing. "Yeah, I mean it." He leant down and brushed his lips against hers. She kissed him back, and he smiled inwardly as he felt her arms slip around him, pushing his jacket off his shoulders.

She pulled away from him, and smiled shyly. Carth felt his heart constrict with emotions that he never thought he'd feel again. He reached out, and stroked her cheek gently with his hand.

"Damned jacket. Do you ever take it off, Carth?" she complained.

He grinned at her, "Only when I sleep, and when it's too hot, which, _whew_, it sure is getting now." He tugged the orange flight jacket off, and dropped it to the floor, where it landed in a crumpled heap.

Revan smiled seductively at him. "It's getting hot, is it? Cant say I'd noticed."

Carth slipped his arms around her waist, and pulled her to him. "Revan," he sighed as she kissed his cheek, and trailed kisses towards his mouth.

"Huh?" she mumbled against his skin.

_Never mind_, Carth thought as he raised his lips to hers.

xxx

"HK, you guarding that doorway?" Canderous demanded.

"Incredulous statement: But of course, meatbag Ordo, although the purpose of my sentry duty eludes me."

"He's got it in here, I'm damned sure of it," the Mandalorian replied as he searched the canisters in the cargo hold.

"Jaded query: You are searching for meatbag Bindo's secret stash?"

Canderous head popped up between two containers. "Yeah, what do you know of it?"

"Rhetorical retort: Why, the aged Jedi hid it. He said it was important that it was not found by the other crew members."

Canderous strode to the far side of the cargo hold, searching amongst the canisters. "Just guard the door, HK."

HK stood in the doorway. "Question: Do I have permission to blast stray crew members if they approach?"

_Found it! _Canderous gloated silently. "Uh, no, HK. Just alert me if any of the crew approach." He opened the plasteel container's lid, wincing as the vicious aroma stung his eyes. _Whew, old man, I sure hope it packs a punch as well as the stink it gives off_. He slipped out the battered tin mug that he had hidden beneath his black shirt, and dipped it into the murky liquid.

Canderous took a long swig of the liquid. _Not bad_, he thought as he swallowed the potent liquor.

xxx

Revan left Carth sleeping on her bunk, as she slipped silently from the room. _I need to speak with Canderous_. Dread settled nervously in the pit of her stomach. _Damned Mandalorian_, she thought, laughing nervously. She crept along the passageway, stopping as she saw the large rust-coloured droid standing menacingly in the opened doorway of the cargo hold.

"HK! What are you doing?"

"Reproachful admission: Spying for the meatbag Ordo. He told me to watch while he searched for Bindo's secret stash, that was two hours ago, and the meatbag has not relieved me of this abhorrent task. But I am pleased to see you Master. Query: Can I kill something now Master? This waiting makes me impatient."

Revan laughed. "Yeah, you can go HK, but no killing!" she patted the droid affectionately as it clunked down the ships corridor.

"Revan?"

"Canderous…ha, I see you have found the moonshine. Any good?" Revan walked across the room, and stared down at the Mandalorian who was wiping his lips against the back of his hand.

"Dammit Revan, I can't tell! This bloody implant…" He moaned in despair.

"Let me try it. Oh, come on Canderous, share?" she pleaded.

"Uh, alright. As long as you don't spill your guts to Republic," he replied as he passed her his mug.

Revan dipped the mug into the canister. "It, erm, doesn't look very appetizing."

"Just drink it, woman…I want to see if it's as potent as the old coot warned," he said with a sly smile, _and I'd like to see you drunk!_

She grimaced as the fiery liquid burnt its way down her throat.

"Well?" Canderous demanded.

"Its, huh, _strong_," she gasped as toxic fumes burnt their way through her sinuses. She swept a hand at her eyes, blinking through a sudden mist of tears. Revan raised the mug as she saw the contemptuous expression on the Mandalorian's face. _Down the hatch!_

Canderous turned and faced the door as he heard a sound of footsteps. He grimaced as he saw Carth minus his jacket, pause by the doorway.

"Revan?" he questioned in confusion. "I, was, uh, wondering where you had gotten to." _Drinking with the Mandalorian_, he thought disgustedly.

"Wanna try some, Republic?" Canderous challenged him. "Its Bindo's stash of moonshine, though I imagine you're too delicate for raw grog." He sat back grinning as he saw the doubt cross the pilot's face.

"Hell no, but why would I want to try it?" Carth walked into the room, and knelt by Revan.

"Well, if you can't handle it…" Canderous shrugged lazily.

Carth glared at him. "Fine! Pass me a mug then."

Carth drank deeply from the mug Revan handed him. He burped loudly, and in his embarrassment, he noticed the look of amusement on Revan's face._ Oh nice going Onasi, act like you have the same manners as a Gamorrean, urgh. Ooh nasty drink, Bindo_. Carth mentally reminded himself to have a word with the enigmatic old Jedi.

"Well?" Canderous drawled lazily.

"Its okay, I guess," Carth exclaimed, secretly stifling another burp with the back of his hand. "It could be stronger though…"

"Bah, Republic! Acting the big man for Revan huh?"

"Err, excuse me, I am here, you know," Revan interceded.

"Rev, be a pal and get us a second mug. I see Republic is up to the challenge after all."

"Oh, alright. Although I think this is stupid!" she complained as she stomped out of the cargo hold.

xxx

Several mugs later, Carth was feeling the effect. His mind whirled lazily, and as he stared across at Revan, he noticed in alarm that she had a twin, which sat next to her, leaning towards him in concern. He grinned at them stupidly, feeling a sudden sense of tranquillity flow through him.

Revan dipped the mug deep into the moonshine, Canderous egging her on. She took a long slurp of the liquid, sighing as the fumes hit her nose. She glanced across at the doorway, in which an irate Bastila stood.

"Revan! Carth! What are you doing?" Bastila cried in alarm as she saw the intoxicated expressions on their faces.

"Jus havin' a drinksee…say, you could do with loosening up, if ya don't mind my saying Bastie," Carth smiled inanely, before he suddenly slumped face down on the metal floor of the hold.

Bastila frowned, her hands resting on her hips. "Revan get up. This is foolish."

"Urgh, nuh Bastie. A'hm having too much fun…" Revan hiccupped, and smiled at the younger woman.

Bastila shook her head. "I blame you, Ordo," she hissed. "Oh Revan, dear, do please get up. This is not becoming of a Jedi…"

"Ah, stuff ya Jedi up your ar…" A slight crashing sound announced that Revan had fallen to the floor.

"This is all your fault, Ordo," Bastila replied scathingly to the bemused Mandalorian.

"It ain't mine, your ladyship, you wanna ask old man Bindo whose this is." Canderous gestured to the plasteel canister, in which the moonshine slopped. "You wanna try some?" he leered. _Ugh, thought not_.

"I will speak to Master Jolee immediately!" she said as she whirled from the room in barely contained anger.

xxx

The banners streamed across the room, their message written in large gold lettering.

"_Welcome home Malak!"_

Carth pushed his way through the party goers, staring absently as Master Vandar playfully clashed lightsabers against a particularly hirsute Wookiee, Chuundar.

He spied Revan, who stood seven feet tall instead of her normal five foot three. "Ah, Carthy warthy, I'm so happy to see you. Look, we have guests!" She clomped across the apartment. "Master Uthar has joined us! Say hello, Uthar!"

"Hello Uthar," the tattooed Sith master replied.

"Urgh," Carth retorted. "Say Revs, whose party is this, uh?"

"Malak's, silly," Revan replied smiling. "Oooh look, he is back."

Carth glanced across, ignoring Juhani who was juggling three red Sith sabers. He saw him, the man he intended to see, and strode across to where he stood.

"So," Saul Karath replied as he took a delicate sip of his glass. "What brings you here, hmm?"

Carth glared at him. "It's my bloody home, Karath."

"Hmm, Admiral now," Karath whispered confidentially, pointing to the medals that adorned his chest. "Say Carth, look, I'm awfully sorry that I bombed your planet and that I killed your wife…"

"Hey," Carth smiled. "Forget it, Saul. It was just one of those things, huh? Anyone could have made a mistake like that."

Karath smiled at him benignly. "I'm so glad you see it like that. I don't want us to fall out." He pouted his lips. "Say, can we be chums again?"

Carth grinned. "Yeah, why not, let's let bygones be bygones, eh, Saul?"

xxx

Canderous stared at the Republic pilot slumped against the cargo hold's floor; _hope you're having a good time of it, eh! _

Revan moaned in her drunken stupor, and Canderous crept from his spot behind the canisters. He placed his hand gently across her back.

"Watchooo doing?"

"Err, nothing, Jedi." Canderous pulled his hand back, and stared at the dark skinned man that stalked into the room.

"I knew it! You couldn't leave it alone could you, Mandalorian! Humph. That's my moonshine you all been guzzling!" He stared into the murky liquid, and glanced at Canderous accusingly. "You haven't added any tach have you, hmm?"

"Tach?" Canderous' brow furrowed into deep lines.

("Mission did it!") A low growl sounded at the door.

"Awww Z! How could ya? That's plain old mean. You said you wouldn't tell." Mission pouted near him, her small figure drowned by the furry mass next to her.

("They had to know. I had to tell the truth, Mission,") Zaalbaar woofed softly.

Mission turned to him. "You don't play fair. It wasn't my fault!"

xxx

Revan walked across the bridge of the Star Forge, staring absently at the figure of Bastila as she sat cross legged, her hands on her knees; thumb and index fingers pressed together._ Oh_, thought Revan, _no wonder the Republic can't break through, she is using her battle meditation._

She watched as the tall figure approached her. "Ah, Revan, I see you have met my new apprentice."

"You will not win, Malak. You were weak before, I can beat you again."

Malak laughed slowly. "Revan, but you have not faced the might of the Star Forge. Besides, I have enough power to last me." He indicated the large glass domes that lined the room.

Revan stared. Inside each glass dome were the figures of supine Jedi. Revan recognised some of them as people she had trained with at the Jedi academy on Dantooine.

"You will not win this, Malak," she hissed between clenched teeth.

"You are wrong, my former master." He ignited his saber, the blade glowed evilly crimson.

Revan reached for her own twin sabers, igniting them with a flourish. The blades lit, their violet hue bleaching her face in its clean light. "You have much to learn, Malak. It is not too late. You can still be redeemed."

"Ah, spoken like a true Jedi," Malak laughed as their energy blades clashed, wreathing them both in sparks.

xxx

Revan opened her eyes, gazing as the figure of the dark skinned Jedi loomed before her.

"That will teach you, missy. Ha, thought you would drink my moonshine, and get away with it!" Jolee laughed unsympathetically.

"Wow, what a dream I had…"

Carth moaned from a bunk near to her, and Revan glanced across.

Jolee shrugged his shoulders. "Carth complained of his dreams too. You got anything to add, hmmm? Personally, I wouldn't pay too much attention. After all, it's only what the mind conjures."

Revan sighed in relief, "That's good to hear, Jolee, because you wouldn't believe what I just dreamed…"

xxx


End file.
